I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
