Define "chronic" masturbator.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
