It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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