Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
