Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
