Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
