So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
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Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
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We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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