Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
