this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
