Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.

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(407): View more from Florida

i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

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(818): View more from California

I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.

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(540): View more from Virginia

just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(660): View more from Missouri

My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)

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(519): View more from Ontario

Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.

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(330): View more from Ohio

You have plans tonight?

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope

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(415): View more from California

He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.

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