bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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