so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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