She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
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I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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