I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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