I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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