I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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