at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
