remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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