Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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