i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize