i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She bit a glass in half.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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