Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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