so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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