I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What drink are we having for lunch?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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