this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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