i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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