Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
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he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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