...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.