ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.