wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well