I wanna passion pit in your ass
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize