yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
