It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
time to smoke my breakfast
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
