No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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