Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
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i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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