you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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