dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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