Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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