ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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