does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
