If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize