I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
