tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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