I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
