dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
