i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
