I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
