I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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