Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
