the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
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