Can Purell be used as lube?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
