My friends, they love my intelligence
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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