Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize