I think my vagina is haunted
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
