you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The beer is more important than you right now.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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